HIT SONGS OF TOMORROW

The Manor Boys are back on-line, by request.

Warning! This here's a whole album of song-poems - lyrics that suckers regular folks have paid to have set to music - that might have you questioning your sanity if you attempt to listen to it all in one go.  Like I did. 

Unlike the song-shark racket's most famous exemplars Rodd Keith and the slickly professional MSR Studios posse, Royal Master Recordings from Tennessee are at least as inept as the amateurs who sent in their hapless lyrics. The singers, one male and one female, can't find the rhythm, stop (give up?) singing thus leaving long awkward instrumental passages, and once even keep going after the music has stopped!  They also give every song the exact same reading no matter what its' content. The music tracks are generic country, and sometimes are repeated. Yep, you pay good money to have your heartfelt poems set to "original" music, and you get the same backing track as several other poor souls.

And what poems they are. Side 1 sports at least two real gems amidst all the love songs, the self-explanatory "Monkey Disco," and the hysterical Luddite plea "Progress." Side 2 is nuts, kicking off with several baffling songs. "Let Me Try Again" actually resembles good music, but the following track "These Hands" sends things back into the twilight zone. 

As with another Royal Master album I've posted, the all dead-Elvis themed "Gone But Not Forgotten," we get the added bonus of actual photos of the lyricists. And remember - these aren't hit songs yet. But they will be...tomorrow. I can't wait!

Hit Songs of Tomorrow

Spike Jones: 1941-1948

To make up for my lack of posts during my winter break, here is every single record Spike Jones and His City Slickers released in their first 7 years, 106 songs in all (split up into three sections). More radical than most academic avant-gardists, but a damn sight funnier,  bandleader/ drummer/ occasional vocalist / sound fx maker Jones and his numerous cronies weren't the first novelty orchestra (bands like the Korn Kobblers preceded them by a few years), but they did set the standard that musical anarchists have been striving for ever since.
  
As familiar as Jones is, it's still enlightening to listen to all these songs in chronological order, as one can hear the development of the band from a compact unit specializing in a kind of crazed Dixieland jazz, to an increasingly open-ended project, incorporating more and more musical styles, guest vocalists, and tracks that are more like sketches than songs. And tho I knew about their biggest hit single "Der Fuehrer's Face" (and the infamous "You're A Sap, Mister Jap"), I didn't realize how many WWII songs they did record. In "Leave the Dishes in the Sink, Ma", a song celebrating a sons' return home, the sense of relief that the war is finally ending is palpable.

As Spike used to deadpan after every song in concert: "Thank you, music lovers."

Spike Jones 1941-1948  pt1

1. Barstool Cowboy From Old Barstow

2. Behind Those Swinging Doors

3. Red Wing

4. The Covered Wagon Rolled Right Along

5. don`t talk to me about women  (1941)

6. Yankee doodler  (1942)

7. Pack Up Your Troubles In Your Old Kit Bag

8. Three Little Words

9. When Buddah Smiles

10. You're A Sap Mister Jap

11. Never Hit Your Grandma With A Shovel

12. Horsey, Keep Your Tail Up

13. Camptown Races

14. John Scotter Trot

15. Love For Sale

16. Moanin' Low

17. Cheatin' On The Sandman

18. Come Josephine In My Flying Machine

19. The Sailor With The Navy Blue Eyes

20. Der Fuehrer's Face

21. Hotcha Cornia (Hotcha Chornya-Russian Folk Songs)

22. I Wanna Go Back To West Virginia

23. Water Lou (Drip, Drip, Drip) 24. Clink, Clink, Another Drink 25. Little Bo-Peep Has Lost Her Jeep 026 - Dinah  (1942) 027 - 48 reasons why  (1942)

28. The Sheik Of Araby

29. Oh! By Jingo

30. I'm Going To Write Home

31. Hi Ho My Lady

32. I Know A Story

33. St-St-St-Stella

34. Hotcha Cornia (Hotcha Chornya-Russian Folk Songs)

35. Down In Jungle Town

Spike Jones 1941-1948  pt2

36. As Time Goes By

37. People Will Say We're In Love

38. G.I. Haircut 039 - hitch old dobbin to the shay again  (1943)

40. It Never Rains In Sunny California

41. Wang Wang Blues

42. My Little Girl

43. The Sound Effects Man

44. Ragtime Cowboy Joe

45. The Vamp

46. He Broke My Heart In Three Places

47. Besame Mucho

48. I'm Goin' Back To Where I Came From

49. There's A Fly On My Music

50. Row, Row, Row

51. I Wanna A Gal Just Like The Gal That Married Dear Old Dad

52. Jingle Bells

53. Cocktails For Two 054 - they go wild, simply wild about me  (1944)

55. And The Great Big Saw Came Nearer And Nearer 056 - paddlin` madeline home  (1944) 057 - oh! how she lied  (1944)

58. Red Grow The Roses

59. Jamboree Jones

60. Whittle Out A Whistle

61. Casey Jones

62. At Last I'm In First With You

63. Down By The O-Hi-O

64. Holiday For Strings

65. Cocktails For Two

66. Leave The Dishes In The Sink, Ma

67. Serenade To A Jerk

68. Drip, Drip, Drip (Sloppy Lagoon)

69. Chloe

70. The Blue Danube

71. Black Bottom

72. Toot Toot Tootsie, Goodbye

Spike Jones 1941-1948  pt3

73. MacNamara's Band

74. Siam

75. Liebestraume

76. You'll Always Hurt The One You Love

77. That Old Black Magic

78. Mother Goose Medley

79. Hawaiian War Chant 080 - i gotta girl i love (in north and south dakota)  (1945) 081 - hedda hopper`s hats  (1945) 082 - george m. cohan medley  (1945)

83. Old McDonald Had A Farm

84. I Dream Of Brownie In The Light Blue Jeans

85. The Glow Worm

86. Laura

87. Jones Polka

88. The Jones Laughing Record 89. My Pretty Girl 90. Rhapsody From Hunger (Y) 91. I'm In The Mood For Love 92. When Yuba Plays The Rhumba On The Tuba 93. (I'm Forever) Blowing Bubble Gum

94. William Tell Overture

95.  Love In Bloom

96. The Man On The Flying Trapeze

97. Popcorn Sack

98. Our Hour (The Puppy Love Song)

99. My Old Flame

100. People Are Funnier Than Anybody

101. By The Beautiful Sea

102. I'm Getting Sentimental Over You

103. I Kiss Your Hand Madame

104. All I Want For Christmas (Is My Two Front Teeth)

105. Ill Barkio (Il Bacio)

106. None But The Lonely Heart (A Soaperetta)

COVER THE EARTH Vol. 5

When will it end?!  Still more bizarre international ethnic versions of Western pop hits. And by 'ethnic' I also mean American and European styles like bluegrass (# 6) and polka. Also: several Trinidad steel drum tracks (# 1, 9, and 18); the Moog hit "Popcorn" played as a South American chicha; Guns'n'Roses go cumbia; The Buggles go Bollywood; a jazz classic performed on sitars and tablas. And wasn't Bob Marley a lot more fun in the '60s, when he was covering the Archies?

COVER THE EARTH Vol. 5

1. Amral's Trinidad Cavaliers - The World is A Ghetto
2. Arsenio Rodriguez & the Afro Cuban Sound - Hang on Sloopy
3. Bappi Lahiri - Auva Auva ("Video Killed The Radio Star"/India)
4. Bob Marley - Sugar Sugar
5. Brave Combo - Double Vision cha cha
6. Bruce Hornsby-Ricky Skaggs - Superfreak
7. Cachicamo con Caspa y Leiko el perro de la IIIII dimension -Sweet Child o' Mine (Venezuela)
8. Chang Loo - Jambalaya (Hank Williams/China)
9. Esso Steelband - I Want You Back 
10. Jimmy Sturr - Splish Splash polka
11. Kiyohiko Senba and his Haniwa All Stars - Kono Mune no Tokimeki o  ("You Don't Have To Say You Love Me")
12. Lelu Thaert - Dance Soul (Booker T & The MGs "Hip Hug Her"/Cambodia)
13. Lennie Hibbert - Nature Boy ("It Was A Very Good Year"/Jamaica)
14. Los Tropicanos - My Sweet Lord (Brasil)
15. Petty Booka - Girls Just Want to Have Fun (Japan/Ja-waiin)
16. Chicha Libre - Popcorn Andino (Gershon Kingsley's "Popcorn"/Peru-USA)
17. Sachal Studios Orchestra - Take Five (Dave Brubeck/Pakistan)
18. Sapodilla Punch - Hold on I'm Coming
19. The Polka Floyd Show - Another Brick in the Wall

In case you missed 'em:
Vol. 1
Vol. 2
Vol. 3
Vol. 4

THE GREAT CELEBRITY SING-OFF

Remember the wildly popular "Golden Throats" collections of singing celeb records? 'Twas one of the few areas where the strange-music world and the mainstream met. Those comps, the gods' gift to "morning zoo" radio shows, reveled in recordings by misguided (mostly) actors who probably shouldn't have had any business singing. Record collector extraordinaire MadJon, the man who bequeathed the "Disco Sellout" and "Come Suck With Me" collections unto us, has picked an amazing assortment of Hollywood fruits for us, continuing the "Golden Throats" tradition. There are some straight novelties here by actors who were not trying to be real singers, e.g.: Jim Backus' classic "Delicious," in which he and a lady friend get gradually rip-roaring drunk, and Frank Gorshin's utterly nutso appearance as his "Batman" character, The Riddler.  But most of these sincere attempts at musical art range from unintentionally hilarious to just appalling. The Bruce Willis track in particular will make you want to punch the guy should you ever meet him.

The Brady Bunch's version of the usually interminable "American Pie" is one of the best recorded - it's only 3 minutes long! Why does Pat Boone get so much crap for his Little Richard cover? After all, Gale Storm's take on Smiley Lewis' "I Hear You Knockin" is just as jaw-dropping. Both Rex and son Noel Harrison are repped here, and the Burl Ives song is actually called "The Tail Of The Comet Kohoutek." Was great to finally get a copy of Bert Parks singing the traditional "there she goes...Miss America" pageant theme. And what the hell is Richard Harris on about? Even if you're not familiar with all the names here, the tunes, in styles ranging from rockabilly to schmaltzy lounge, are a sick treat.

MAD JON'S GREAT CELEBRITY SING-OFF

Much thanks to Mad Jon!

CLIFFIE STONE "COOL COWBOY"

("Better Than The Beatles" is back on-line)

As a companion piece to the "How The West Was Swung" album by Vegas crooner Pete Brady that we posted here a few days ago, here's another unlikely cowboy/modern jazz combination collection. Some of the same Western standards that Brady interpreted are featured here, as well. But this one comes from the other side of the fence: Cliffie Stone wasn't a Rat Packer heading out west like Brady, but a major country music figure (Capital Records A&R man, radio and tv host, and some recording success as well) putting down his lariat, and picking up a martini glass. 

This album is fun one, but it's def not as hip as "How The West Was Swung" - the jazz on songs like "Ragtime Cowboy Joe" are more Dixieland than bebop, and the vocals are by a pretty white-bread co-ed vocal choir. Still, Stone's take on The Sons of The Pioneers classic "Cool Water" swings like a rusty saloon door, dad. And dig the nutty cha-cha version of "Don't Fence Me In."
Better yet are the originals, like the title song, a hysterical number about a cowboy so cool, he'll "build a dude ranch on the moon." The like-minded "Cool Cow Boogie," concerns a hep-cat who's "got a knocked-out western accent with a Harlem touch."

CLIFFIE STONE "COOL COWBOY"

1 Cool Cowboy
2 The Streets of Laredo
3 Don't Fence Me In Cha-Cha
4 Tumblin Tumbleweeds
5 Cool Cow Boogie
6 High Noon
7 Jingle Jangle Jingle
8 Blood On The Saddle
9 Along The Navajo Trail
10 Cool Water
11 Sierra Sue
12 Ragtime Cowboy Joe

PETE BRADY - "How The West Was Swung"

Does what it says on the tin: "The Best of the West Done With A Swingin' Beat." This 1962 album, one of the few recorded by lounge crooner Pete Brady before an errant tennis racket damaged his throat, is more fun than a brawl in a saloon. Big, brassy orchestrations (by an uncredited Bob Florence) featuring members of Woody Herman's Thundering Herd thunder their way thru classic cowboy songs.  Very rural songs given a hip urban twist makes for a pretty ridiculous combo, but one that, strangely enough, was not uncommon. Why? A couple guesses: anything western was very popular at the time. Shows set in the Old West were as ubiquitous on mid-century TV sets as detective programs are now.  And swinger-central Las Vegas was still, in the '50s/early '60s, not too far removed from it's Wild West past.  Many early hotels and casinos had a western theme.

In any case, you'll chortle with glee blasting such kooky finger-snappin' remakes of the likes of "Tumblin' Tumbleweeds" and "I'm An Old Cowhand." And any version of Roy Rogers' ode to my homeland, "The San Fernando Valley," is always welcome. A tip o' the hat to Windy for this one.

PETE BRADY - "How The West Was Swung"

Ahh...Outsider Music...

The George King/Joe Corney Space-Age Organ Sounds are back on-line.

The first thing many Americans think when they hear the phrase "folk music" is still the Joan Baez/Dylan types listlessly strumming acoustic guitars and singing protest songs in coffeehouses, none of which has much to do with actual American folk traditions. The excellent new compilation Turn Me Loose: Outsiders of Old-Time Music
features not only the weird 'n' wild obscurities you maniacs crave, but it also serves as a nice corrective to the '50s/'60s folk revival's rewriting of history. For one thing, acoustic guitars were not too common (almost no songs on this album feature them), banjos were originally a black instrument (derived from African instruments), silly humor was much more common then protest politics (e.g.: the wacked-out duo Mustard and Gravy), and plenty of "non-folk" instruments like the piano really were used in folk music, Charlie Tweedy's berserk stylings on the ivories being one of this albums' many highlights (which reminds me of Tom Lehrer's crack introducing his song "The Folk Song Army": since the piano isn't considered a folk instrument "imagine I'm playing an 88-string guitar.") Ernest Rodgers' Greek lesson "Mythological Blues" punctures holes in the notion that these were all dumb, uneducated hicks.

Most of these recordings, taken from old '78s, are by fairly professional if necessarily rough 'n' raw performers, but at least one character here, Willard Hodgin, is just flat-out nuts. To quote from compiler Frank Fairfield's extensive liner notes: "He recorded 18 sides (1927-1928) for various labels, which is quite an outstanding feat considering how unusual a performer he was. The combination of the occasional verse speckled in with his own unusual yet charming stanzas and his delirious haphazard banjo strumming make him one of the most unique performers to ever record." 18 songs?  Someone put out a complete Willard Hodgin album! (Clicky on song titles to take you to Divshare-land:)

Willard Hodgin: "Don't Get One Woman on Your Mind" Now with bonus offensive racist lyrics! 
But don't musical saws make everything better? Dig this barn dance earworm:
South Georgia Highballers: "Mister Johnson Turn Me Aloose"

Another great new comp recently purchased at my local record emporiums is "Enjoy The Experience: Homemade Records 1958-1992," a two-disc set plus 44 page booklet, all for only $15. Explore the wonderful world of private-press records! I was amused to see that the booklet featured reproductions of the covers of a couple albums I own, namely Mike Hudson and Wayne & Marin Foster. No tracks from them featured on this, but I included them on my own collection "I'll Take Las Vegas." This album goes way beyond Vegas-y lounge performers, tho, ranging from the already sorta-well known punk jazz of Gary Wilson and the middle-aged former Big Band singer-turned-hippie Arcesia, to such unknowns as the hip Christian behind this absurdly catchy upbeat bit of apocalyptic pop:

Ray Torsky: "666"

The booklet includes interviews with some of the performers the compilers were actually able to track down. The heartbreaking tale of Joe E.'s swindle at the hands of a fly-by-night record label is particularly memorable. Unfortunately nothing is known about one Vinny Roma, but he recorded what could be this blog's theme song.  Hell, it could be my (or your) life's theme song:

Vinny Roma: "Ahh...Music"

And if that's still not enough outsider music for you, Colchester, England's premier mental patient/transvestite/stoner/coprophiliac singer-songwriter has a new album out called
"Hippie Heaven" 
for your free downloading pleasure. It's like a 12" single more than an album, with the same songs appearing in slightly different forms throughout. Highlights inc the biting "Parasite Pest," and "Rock 'n' Roll Brothel" ("Why won't any of the girls have sex with me? It's quite frustrating...I could get a complex!") The backing track of "Lady Dub #1" could be by Martin Rev. And paging Yoko Ono! The final track is a 20 min field recording of wind.



   

SILLY 78s pt3

At long last! Count Otto Black's continued spelunking into the dark, forgotten caverns of music history has resulted in another overdue (my fault, not his) collection of funny, strange, suggestive, and/or offensive audio oddities from the first half of recorded history. The Count speaketh:

"Firstly, some bizarre examples of political incorrectness from days gone by (these are nowhere near the worst). "We're Gonna Have To Slap The Dirty Little Jap" is symptomatic of a more innocent age, when we apparently thought that wars could be won by giving the enemy a jolly good spanking. There were plenty of post-WWII jingoistic propaganda records, but after Hitler, it was generally agreed that the ideal way to cope with evil dictators involves death rather than spanking.

Moving swiftly on, I give you Helen Kane, a young lady who in 1932 attempted legal action on the grounds that, since for several years prior to the cartoon she'd been singing like Betty Boop, saying "Boop-boop-be-doop!" on a regular basis, and even looked like Betty Boop, obviously she was Betty Boop, so she deserved a slice of the vast profits that mega-successful character was generating. She lost when the prosecution demonstrated that she had herself pinched her entire act from an even earlier very obscure black performer called Baby Esther, and as for alleged resemblance, Betty could equally well be said to look like the much more famous Clara Bow. This didn't stop Helen Kane from spending the rest of her career implying as heavily as she could without using the actual name that she was Betty Boop, and cutting a great many records on that basis. I include one to demonstrate what I mean.

However, she had nothing to do with the cartoon - almost all of the classic 1930s films were voiced by Mae Questal, who lived to be over 90, and was still doing the Betty Boop voice whenever it was needed right up until the end - amazingly, that's her in Who Framed Roger Rabbit. To provide a useful "Battle of the Boops" comparison, I've attached an incredibly strange record by her, which seems to be about a rag-doll who dies of cancer. Who thought this was a good idea? And if it somehow is, why aren't there any Skooby Doo AIDs records?

Continuing the theme of cartoon characters singing about death, there is, however, an Elmer Fudd road safety record! Though once again, the vocalist "Waymond Wadcwiff" is not the real voice from the cartoons (according to Wikipedia, the only famous Raymond Radcliff was a basketball player, but I think this must be a different one), so the name "Elmer Fudd" is not used - it's all rather confusing, really. Presumably that's why "wabbits" are never mentioned, and a goose is run over instead.

You may be familiar with "I've Gone And Lost My Little Yo-Yo", though this is a lesser-known version by Leslie Holmes (50% of the Two Leslies). At one point every version was banned by the BBC for being far too filthy! Then Ruth Wallis came along a few years later and obsessively carried on with the rude yo-yo theme in a way that makes Chuck Berry's notorious "ding-a-ling" sound quite innocent. So here's a trilogy of increasingly filthy yo-yo songs - how specific can a genre get?

Continuing with the mild innuendoes that seemed terribly daring at the time, the Pearl Boys discuss female absentmindedness in large hotels, and the Milt Herth Trio protests about how carelessly policemen handle fruit. But the reflections of the Deep River Boys concerning the culinary shortcomings of underage poultry are by today's standards downright creepy... I think I'd better take the curse off it with another merry and totally innocent Hadacol song completely different from the previous one - clearly the stuff was popular!

 

Just for jolly, I've added an utterly incomprehensible song about the Stellenbosch Boys, and how they coped with Germany's terrible baboon problem (or something), and of course "Take Out Your False Teeth, Daddy" - surely a neglected classic?

I also include both sides of a record which proves that Gefilte Joe and the Fish, one of the numerous one-note "comedy" acts of very dubious merit promulgated by Rhino Records, did not invent the concept of parodying popular songs in an excessively Jewish manner for comic effect. Mickey Katz & His Kosher-Jammers were doing it decades previously! They weren’t Spike Jones and his City Slickers, though Mickey Katz did play with Spike’s band for a year. He was quite prolific, and cut numerous tracks that were controversial even among other Jews, some of whom felt that in the wake of WWII, this kind of cartoonishly exaggerated Jewishness was doing them no favors. Anyway, I attach what seems to have been his greatest hit, “Yiddish Square Dance”. It’s a very lively number which may well have hilarious lyrics, though if you don’t speak Yiddish it’s hard to tell.

Wendell Hall retains his dignity and wants to know “Who Said I Was a Bum?” Meanwhile the Pearl Five’s “Golfin’ Papa” somehow manages to make golf sound naughty - and now I think about it, “niblick” does sound as though it ought to be smutty. And we can't not have another one from at least half of the Two Leslies (Leslie Holmes is the tall one with the glasses).

Moving swiftly on to Frank Marvin’s “Yodellin’ Rambling Cowboy”. The odd thing about yodeling records is that, although it’s absolutely impossible to sing about anything the slightest bit serious if you’re going to yodel in the middle, some people insisted on trying. This is the surprisingly merry tale of a misogynist psychopath who married a nymphomaniac and ended up committing murder and going to prison for life. Yodel-ay-he-hoo! And now it's time for the scratchy old Count to go back in his box..."

I once again offer my thanks to Count Otto Black (and so should you!)

SILLY 78s pt3

1. Todd Rollins Orchestra & Chick Bullock "The Boogie Man"
2. Nellie Lutcher "Chest X-Ray Song"
3. Denver Darling "The Devil And Mister Hitler"
4. Pearl Five "Golfin' Papa"
5. Bill Nettles "Hadacol Bounce"
6. Mickey Katz & His Kosher-Jammers "Haim Afen Range"
7. Helen Kane "He's So Unusual"
8. Mae Questal "I've Got a Pain In My Sawdust"
9. Leslie Holmes "I've Gone And Lost My Little Yo-Yo"
10. Ruth Wallis "Johnny Had a Yo-Yo"
11. Ruth Wallis "The New Yo-Yo Song"
12. Oscar Quam "Oscar Quam Calling Ducks"
13. Milt Herth Trio "Please No Squeeza Da Banana"
14. Pearl Trio "She Had To Lose It At The Astor"
15. Waymond Wadcwiff "The Silly Goose"
16. Leslie Holmes "The Squire's Wedding Day"
17. Josef Marais "Stellenbosch Boys"
18. Margie Day "Take Out Your False Teeth Daddy"
19. Monroe Silver "That's Yiddisha Love"
20. Deep River Boys "That Chick's Too Young To Fry"
21. Al "Jazzbo" Collins "Three Little Pigs"
22. Carlson Robison "We're Gonna Have To Slap The Dirty Little Jap"
23. Wendall Hall "Who Said I Was a Bum?"
24. Mickey Katz & His Kosher-Jammers "Yiddish Square Dance"
25. Frank Marvin "Yodellin' Rambling Cowboy"

Silly 78s pt2

Count Otto Black returns!  With a further batch of awesome audio oddities and atrocities from the first half of recorded history. Perhaps even more spectacular than part one. The Count sez:

Firstly, for no reason at all, Oscar Quam the professional bird impersonator demonstrates in all seriousness that he can convincingly call crows. Why would anyone go to a lot of trouble to learn how to attract crows? Are the edible? Anyway, Oscar Quam could do it. Perhaps he was a sort of anti-scarecrow who made a living standing a long way away from the crops decoying crows? Who knows!

And now for something completely different. I haven’t the slightest idea who Mister Goon-Bones was, except that he plays a mean set of spoons! And it’s not often that you encounter a band consisting of spoons, piano, banjo and organ.

Moving swiftly on, Irving Aaronson and his Commanders go very convincingly insane over “Wimmin Aaah!”,  and Kenny Roberts telling us how "She Taught Me To Yodel" because - well, just listen to him! - why was a vocal style this bizarre every popular, however briefly???

Ever onwards and upwards - here's a very ancient recording from the Van Eps Banjo Orchestra, who give us "My Hindoo Man" - obviously nothing evokes the Mystic East like massed banjos and loud mysterious scraping noises. And we can't not have another one from at least half of the Two Leslies (Leslie Holmes is the tall one with the glasses).

Moving swiftly on, the Milt Herth Trio inform us for no particular reason that "The Monkeys Have No Tails In Pago Pago", and in a throwback to a much more innocent age, George Beaver solemnly explains that he likes to ride a camel because it goes bumpity-bumpity-bump.

"The Laughing Policeman" is sung by, of all people, Paul Robeson! (Given his commitment to fighting for the rights of black Americans, I can't help feeling that there may be a certain amount of intentional irony involved...)

The original version of a record which I presume must once have been a big hit, since it was parodied by Spike Jones as "Hawaiian War Chant". I don't speak Hawaiian, but it sounds to me as though it wasn't terribly serious to begin with, and may not be in any language at all. [Indeed, every other Hawaiian and exotica record of the '50s had a version of 'Hawaiian War Chant' - MrF]

 

And another one from the Two Leslies. This was a big hit for them, and spawned a catch-phrase that was still around as late as the 1980s, when on the occasion of the sinking of the General Belgrano during the Falklands War, British tabloid The Sun printed the magnificent headline "Umpa, Umpa, Stick It Up Your Junta!"

"You Gotta Go Owww!" was the first and most obscure of the singles released as Goon Show spin-offs, and was sung by Spike Milligan.

And of course the song with possibly the best title ever: "Who put the benzedrine in Mrs. Murphy's Ovaltine?"

Silly 78s pt2

1. Leslie Sarony - Ain't It Grand To Be Blooming Well Dead (Side B)
2. Rex Stewart - B.O. Blues
3. Nora Bayes - Cheer Up, Eat, & Grow Thin
4. Mr. Goon-Bones - Crazy Bone Rag
5. Basin Street Six - Everybody Loves That Hadacol (Side Two)
6. G. H. Elliott (The Original Chocolate-Coloured Coon) - The Ghost Of The Yodelling Coon
7. Helen Kane - Hug Me, Kiss Me, Love Me
8. Mr. Goon-Bones - I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles
9. George Beaver - I Love to Ride a Camel
10. Paul Robesonn - The Laughing Policeman
11. Harry Champion - Little Bit Of Cucumber
12. Al "Jazzbo" Collins - Little Red Riding Hood
13. Milt Herth Trio - The Monkeys Have No Tails In Pago Pago
14. Van Eps Banjo Orchestra - My Hindoo Man
15. Ozie Waters - Old Man Atom
16. Oscar Quam - Oscar Quam Calling Crows
17. Three Earbenders - The Parade Of The Little White Mice
18. Kenny Roberts & The Pinetoppers - She Taught Me How To Yodel
19. Andy Iona & His Islanders - Ta Hu Wa Hu Wa I
20. Helen Kane - To Have You
21. Two Leslies - Umpa, Umpa (Stick It Up Your Jumper)
22. Bertha Willmott - Up Aroun' The Ole North Pole
23. Harry "The Hipster" Gibson - Who Put The Benzedrine In Mrs. Murphy's Ovaltine?
24. Irving Aaronson and His Commanders - Wimmin Aaah!
25. Count Jim Moriarty - You Gotta Go Owww!

Part 3 coming soon.
Much thanks once again to Count Otto Black!

SILLY 78s

A hardworking, generous Maniac known to us commoners as Count Otto Black has bequeathed unto us an old wooden chest crammed full of mp3s. As I picked each one up and blew the virtual dust off them, my eyes grew wide: 'twas a treasure-trove of bizarre and funny antiques from the shellac era, including a few I was going to include on my own 78rpm strangeness collection (that I never got around to completing, but this is inspiring me) and plenty that were new to me. A plethora of British and America music hall/vaudeville, hillbilly and jazz hepcat novelties. I'll let His Countship tell the tale of a few of these gems:

"here are some very silly 78s, including the banned gay cardboard record, "Let's All Be Fairies"!

The Durium Dance Band were a curious ensemble that existed purely to promote durium, a form of liquid bakelite that never really caught on. The best use they could think of for it was to impregnate cardboard with it, making it tough enough for records to be pressed out of the stuff. The idea was that music magazines could print records on their covers, and this was actually done for quite a while - there was even one by the Monkees! You can instantly spot durium records (many of which are by this band) because they're an unfortunate shade of brown that suggests they may be made of poo...

You probably know "Serutan Yob", but if not, the Unnatural Seven are actually Red Ingle's Natural Seven - a spin-off from Spike Jones' City Slickers - and this is the B-side from their somewhat better-known hit "Cigareets and Whiskey and Wild, Wild Women".

Al "Jazzbo" Collins' quartet of Hipster Fairy Tales are surely unique - who exactly were they aimed at? People who wanted their children to grow up to be beatniks? Anyway, I'm pretty sure that these four sides are the genre in its entirety!

I've added a merry comedy number about eating disorders...[and]...both sides of a record officially issued to promote Hadacol. [side 2 will appear on "Silly 78s pt2" - ed.] You'll notice that the claims made for this substance are so ludicrous that even the manufacturers don't seem to take its medicinal virtues seriously - but they do mention several times that it contains alcohol and honey, implying that it's a legal way to get drunk during prohibition (true) and it tastes jolly nice (false). Shades of Lily The Pink!

A comedy song about the Scopes Monkey Trial, though your guess is as good as mine whether the composer was rooting for Darwin or God - personally I think he's just having fun!
Also, a couple of numbers that at the time must have seemed daringly risqué, a cautionary tale about the marital problems faced by circus performers, two howling failures in the political correctness department, a desperate attempt to write a comic song about the latest developments in Egyptology..."


Silly 78s - pt1

1. Leslie Sarony "Ain't It Grand To Be Blooming Well Dead (Side A)"
2. Cactus Pryor & The Pricklypears "Cry Of The Dying Duck In A Thunderstorm"
3. Basin Street Six "Everybody Loves That Hadacol (Side One)"
4. Leo Teel and his Teel Billies "He's Gazing At Daisy Roots Now"
5. Carol Chapell "I Married An Acrobat"
6. Two Leslies "I'm A Little Prairie Flower"
7. The Jesters - "I'm My Own Grandpa" [anyone know who does this version? UPDATE: thx to Our Pal Doug for identifying the band]
8. Four Lads "Istanbul" [yep, the tune They Might Be Giants scored with]
9. Al "Jazzbo" Collins "Jack And The Beanstalk"
10. Bob Pierce "King Of The Bungaloos"
11. Durium Dance Band "Let's All Be Fairies"
12. Two Leslies "Miss Porkington Would Like Cream Puffs"
13. International Novelty Orchestra with Billy Murray "Monkey Biz-ness (Down in Tennessee)" [GOTTA have some Billy Murray in any survey of 78s- he was the early 20th century's biggest recording star, and certainly one of the most prolific]
14. Edith Clifford "No Wonder She's a Blushing Bride"
15. Billy Jones & Ernest Hare (The Happiness Boys) "Old King Tut"
16. Winnie Lighter "Pingo Pongo"
17. Comedy Dance Orchestra "Rambling Wreck From Georgia Tech"
18. Unnatural Seven "Serutan Yob"
19. Carol Chapell "She Lost It"
20. Al "Jazzbo" Collins "Snow White And The Seven Dwarves"

Part 2 coming soon.  A thousand thankyous, good sir Count!

ABE VIGODA'S UNDEAD

Even tho Peter Murphy is apparently a hit-and-run driving meth-head, a kind judge has allowed his "35 Years of Bauhaus" tour to proceed as planned. But will any version of "Bela Lugosi's Dead" be any better then the free download parody found on the site dedicated to monitoring the mortality of eternally-elderly actor Abe Vigoda?

"Abe Vigoda's Dead (Premortem Mix)" can be downloaded from abevigoda.com.

If Murphy needs an opening act, I recommend the death-country band Caühaüs. The lead signer's name?  Goth Brooks. I can only find one song of theirs, but it's a free download:

Caühaüs: "Rednecks With White Faces"

The FLYING DUTCHMAN - ONE-MAN BAND SHOW

How's THAT for an album cover? 

I think you can see why I picked up this private-press piece of vintage vinyl recently - it truly is a slice of authentic Americana, a peek into un-hip rural backroads (in this case, Pennsylvania Dutch country) where Ma & Pa go out on a Saturday night to the local tavern and dance to the kind of music left out of the history books, played by the sort of performer usually considered to be not worthy of critical consideration.

Recorded live, Mr. Dutchman is  clearly having a good ol' time, chatting with the crowd,  letting loose with whoops and yee-haws! on occasion. Everything that doesn't sound like a polka (even the Elvis cover) is delivered in a wave-your-mug drinking song waltz-time. And might I direct your attention to the song that features our man playing the accordion and tap-dancing (!) at the same time. They don't make 'em like this any more.  (Or do they?  I suspect that this fellow might be the same guy.)

The FLYING DUTCHMAN - ONE-MAN BAND

ALBUM DU JOUR #4: POLLUTING THE MAINSTREAM

The Eagles!  Fleetwood Mac!  Styx! Marie Osmond! That's the kind of stuff I listen to now.  All that weird, experimental stuff - what was I thinking?  Writing a blog about music that so few people care about...what a sad lonely life I've been livin'...  Well, forget that, I'm gonna be NORMAL! And what a relief it is, lemme tell you - I'm gonna hang out in sports bars, watch "American Idol," stop listening to college/public radio and keep my dial set on AM talk from now on.  Hall & Oates!  Chicago!  Muthafuckin' ABBA!  Hell yeah, where's my pink Izod shirt and penny loafers?!

This playlist is no joke.  All the artist represented here making crazed noise, goofball novelties, flipped-out weirdness, and self-indulgent nonsense are the very same acts who made all those familiar mainstream hits (granted, including Joey Ramone here stretches the definition of 'mainstream' a bit).  See? The Beatles weren't the only superstars to have a "Revolution No.9" in them.


UPDATE 12/2/12: Now on Zippyshare, for those of you who had trouble with Mediafire 
POLLUTING THE MAINSTREAM

I was going to go into explanations about how these oddities came to be, like how that's Robert Fripp (!) playing on the Hall & Oates, how "Mother" was the only song by the Police that I loved, etc., but I think it's best for you to just listen to this and be amazed - play it for your friends and see if they can guess who's who.

1. Chicago "Free Form Guitar"
2. Donovan "The Intergalactic Laxative"
3. The Eagles "The Greeks Don't Want No Freaks"
4. Fleetwood Mac "Somebody's Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In"
5. Frank Sinatra "Reflections On The Future In 3 Tenses" excerpt (by Gordon Jenkins)

6. Hall & Oates "Alley Katz"
7. Heart "Hit Single"
8. Debbie Harry "In Just Spring"
9. James Brown "The Future Shock Of The World"
10. Marie Osmond "Karawane"
11. The Police "Mother"
12. Nirvana "Montage of Heck Part 1"
13. Nirvana "Montage of Heck Part 2"
14. Prince "Bob George"
15. Buddy Holly "Slippin' And Slidin' (sped-up version #1)"
16. Styx "Plexiglass Toilet"
17. Joey Ramone "The Wonderful Widow of Eighteen Springs"
18. Toto "Robot Fight"
19. Van Halen "Strung Out"
20. Willie Nelson "Cowboys are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other"
21. Abba "Intermezzo no.1"
22. Alice In Chains "Love Song"
23. Cat Stevens "Was Dog a Doughnut?"

The Country/Eastern Music of Shoji Tabuchi

If you are a good, decent person, you will not laugh at a Japanese guy sincerely trying to sing American country hits.  The Dalai Lama (or Adam Yauch, were he alive) would probably comment that, hey, can YOU sing in Japanese?  Could YOU come over from a country with a radically different culture than the US and master a foreign music style? Could you, like, learn to play the koto or some shit? 

Well, obviously, I am not a good, decent person - I LOL-ed out loud upon hearing poor Mr Tabuchi sing "make loom in your heart for a flend." And you probably will, too, ya sick bastards. The debut album of this collection of country (and a couple easy-listening) hits by a Japanese fiddle player/singer does, at least, feature slick backing by Nashville pros to maintain some semblance of musical quality.

The night I was ripping this from vinyl I was musing aloud to the missus about how could this album have been released, by a major label, no less (ABC/Dot), and she suggested that it might have been a deliberate ploy, like the tax scam in "The Producers."  Which reminded me of record biz sleaze-bag Morris Levy. Otherwise, I have no explanation for the existence of this album.  But, hey, Tabuchi is having the last laugh on us - he's had a long-running show in that Vegas for old folks, Branson, MO.

 Shoji Tabuchi: "Country Music My Way"

A1 Orange Blossom Special

A2 Put Your Little Hand In Mine

A3 Uncle Pen

A4 Love Letters In The Sand

A5 Devil's Dream[instrumental]

B1 Lovin' Girl

B2 The Words Mean The Same

B3 Make Room In Your Heart For A Friend

B4 Time Changes Everything

B5 Somewhere My Love [instrumental]

This has been another wonderful Windy contribution.

Don Wardlow: The King of Casio Country

 

Here's something unique: a serious, heartfelt tribute to funnyman "Weird Al" Yankovic, performed by one guy on an electronic keyboard + drum machine (a Yamaha, actually, not a Casio), recorded onto hissy tape.

 

Don Wardlow is a blind, middle-aged Southerner who has uploaded over 150 songs onto his YouTube channel, mostly covers of country-western oldies. It's all pretty charming, but his originals are special - as technically crude as any outsider music, but genuine and sincere, and surprisingly catchy at times. "American Idle," a commentary on jobs being sent overseas and his own resulting unemployment, sports an excellent earworm of a chorus: 



 

Dig the Latin drum machine groove on another sad-but-true tale from Wardlow's life, about his "Miami Girl," "A song about a girl I dated from 1991-95, with an emphasis on her habit of spending everything I had."

 

There's lots more that I haven't had a chance to check out yet. Come on, Don, lay some mp3s on us, daddy-o!

 

Country Music For Fat, Unpopular People

Meade Skelton is an outsider musician from Richmond, Virginia whose album  "They Can't Keep Me Down" mostly deals with his struggles with weight, and how no-one likes him, e.g.: "I Love To Eat (And It Shows)" and "It's Hard To Love Yourself (When Everybody Hates You)". He feels left out of the music world, loves mom and God, and doesn't like sleazy, degenerate rock 'n' rollers or too-cool hipsters (e.g.: the song "Proud To Be A Square").  His lightweight electric piano-driven songs lean towards the slick, commercial side of country music, and when he stays within his vocal range, he actually has an okay voice, tho hardly worthy of his own Elvis and Sinatra comparisons. Trouble is, he doesn't always stick to his range.

This album, so I'm told, is strongly influenced by Laura Branigan, of all people. Remember her, she did that "Gloria, I think they got your number" song?  Supposedly "Beautiful Lady" is a reworking of Branigan's "Solitaire," adding new lyrics about (of course) being fat and unwanted. 

There is some weak singing here and the songwriting occasionally gets terrible indeed, so it's easy to laugh at this guy, but there is also pathos in "They Called Me Porker," about the taunting he endured as a child. And some pretty smooth session musicians keep it all sounding almost respectable.

On "Songs of Love" he goes lounge - it's an album of mostly amateurish covers of standards, e.g.: "My Funny Valentine," but includes some originals, like the stalker-ish ode to actress Nicole Kidman, "Nicole, Will You Marry Me?" Wow, is this one a head-scratcher. Kidman may want to consider a restraining order. An unnerving yodel/voice-cracking vocal style pervades this album, and the stripped-down production reveals his uncertain piano playing. Oh, my ears! If "They Can't Keep Me Down" has you feeling sorry for the poor sap, "Songs of Love" will make you want to join the haters.

Skelton has gained somewhat of a reputation on the internets thru his relentless self-promotion, often going by other names, claiming on message boards to be a "fan" of Skelton with a "need for Meade!" when it's pretty obvious that it's Skelton himself. Some are annoyed by this behaviour, others amused. But that's what's great about him - he has unwavering faith in his talent, and maintains an upbeat attitude towards life. No whiney goth or sensitive singer-songwriter stuff for Meade - despite the unfortunate circumstances of his life, he keeps a grin on his face.

He has some albums that he's selling independently, and since they're in print, I'm only gonna take a couple/few songs apiece from these two abums (the only two of his that I have).

Mead Skelton Sampler

1. Beautiful Lady
2. What's So Great About Rock N' Roll?
3. Your Old Hay
4. Nicole, Will You Marry Me?
5. My Funny Valentine

Want to hear more? 'Course you do!  Preview his albums on iTunes. And join the Mead Skelton Fan Club while you're at it! 2215 Floyd Ave., Richmond, VA 23220; (804) 359-0219.

UPDATE 9/24/12: We heard from the man himself: Meade would like you to know that he has a new album, likes and is influenced by Laura Branigan but not on this particular album, and does not go around spamming boards under assumed names. So there. I stand corrected.

From one of his other albums, here's the "hit" single, "Hipsters Ruin Everything":